if they put an iron circle around your neck, i will bite it away
by starlight.moon.princess
Summary: Rebuilding a castle - and a life - takes time. ::Dean/Seamus, and the first year after the war. Told through a drabble collection::
1. May

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (421. Loop) and the Magical Creatures Challenge (Murtlap)**

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**MAY: REMEMBER**

It's barely a few days after the end of the war and Dean still finds it hard to believe that everything is over.

He stills wakes up at every slight sound, wand in hand and ready to attack, before remembering that there's no one left to attack him.

And yet, the terror still remains. Because a year on the run is not the easiest fate for anyone, especially not a seventeen year old boy whose only training for the real world had been the D.A. lessons under Harry's command.

Every time he sends a Patronus to Seamus after a nightmare, he feels weak. But Shay always, _always_ comes for him, and wrapped in his best friend's arms, finally able to sleep, Dean cannot help but feel like his pride is a small price to give up for the sensation of safety.


	2. June

**This collection has been entered into the "Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered into the If You Dare Challenge (752. Nightmares)**

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**JUNE: STARTLE**

Dean's gotten used to counting the days in every way but by using the calendar. He measures the time that passes by how much of the castle's reconstruction is over.

So he is startled when he realises that a month has passed since the end of the war, nearly a month since Seamus and he started sleeping in the same bed.

Yet the thing that startles him the most is the fact that he hasn't had nightmares while he is in his best friend's arms. That he hasn't woken up at the slightest noises when the warmth of Seamus' body comforts him.

And when he has to spend a night without Seamus, and cannot fall asleep, it startles him just how dependant he's gotten on his best friend, how much he needs him to fall asleep.

It's not a healthy habit; he knows that. But when Shay returns from his trip home and Dean can sleep again, he finds he doesn't really care.


	3. July

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (359. More Trouble)**

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**JULY: ORANGE**

It's during Harry's birthday party when Dean first starts realising he has feelings for Shay.

The group of students who had stayed back to help in the reconstruction of Hogwarts are far from the groupies Harry has to face when he's out in public, but even they aren't letting his birthday pass by without a celebration.

Some of the Hufflepuffs had baked a huge orange blossom cake for the joint birthday celebration being held for Harry and Neville.

After the cake had been cut and the presents distributed, everyone had decided to use the Gryffindor Common Room as a sort of club. The music is blaring, bodies dancing crazily, and Shay is right there next to Dean.

And he's laughing right in Dean's ear, and the sound of his laughter and the scent of oranges seem to permeate through the air.

That's when Dean realises that he's feeling butterflies in stomach, something he hasn't felt since he was with Ginny.

He's pretty sure he's in big trouble.


	4. August

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (539. Heart's Truth)**

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**AUGUST: WAIT **

Dean tells Seamus about the new feelings two days after the party.

They're best friends, and there are no secrets between the two of them. The only reason he waits two days is so that Shay remembers their talk, which he wouldn't if Dean told him while he was drunk.

Besides, he knows that Seamus will never hate him for his feelings. It's doubtful that he'd return them, but he'd never hate him for them. Dean doesn't see the point in waiting to tell him.

So the "I'm there for you, mate, whatever you need. If you want, we'll start talking about good-looking blokes when we're talking about women," is something he expects. He does not, however, expect what Seamus says after that.

He doesn't expect Seamus to confess that he might be having feelings for Dean too.

But when he asks Dean to wait while he sorts out his feelings, Dean's more than happy to do it. The thought that he might have Seamus – who he's quickly realised he's in love with – is more than he ever thought possible. Waiting a few days to get him isn't going to be too much of a hardship.


	5. September

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (203. Blast it all) and the Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp (26. Agreement)**

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**SEPTEMBER: DETERMINED**

Dean's ready to wait for a few days, maybe even a week or two, for an answer, but by the time a month passes, he's had enough.

He loves Seamus, that's not something he doubts. But that doesn't mean that Seamus can play games with his feelings and not expect Dean to react.

So when Seamus comes to him, telling him he finally has an answer for Dean, Dean's determined to make Seamus sweat a little. Shay's damn near tortured him for the past month – Dean's not going to let him get off easily.

He enjoys watching Seamus squirm at his cold tone, but he can't keep up the pretence for long. No matter how determined he is to watch Shay suffer, he loves him too much to let it go on for too long.

It doesn't take him more than half an hour to concede and ask Shay what his answer is.

And when Shay tells him he loves him too, Dean's happy he gave up so easily. He may have no will power whatsoever when it comes to his best- boyfriend now, but that's okay. Everything's okay, as long as he has Seamus.


	6. October

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (339. Going To School) and the Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp (15. Homework) **

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**OCTOBER: BOOKS**

Hogwarts starts again by October. The castle isn't rebuilt to its former glory, but the volunteers have managed to make enough headway that classes can be held again. And Professor McGonagall is loath to wait any more, especially since almost everyone's education was severely interrupted during the last year.

It's odd, hitting the books again. Unlike the students who stayed at Hogwarts, even if they were in the Room of Requirement for much of the year, it has been a long time since Dean has had the time – or need – to study. It's almost like he's entered a different world at first.

It takes him time to get used to it again. It's difficult, getting back to studies after so long away. When he left at the end of sixth year, he was coping up with his work well, but now, he feels lost, adrift. It's not true, he knows that, but some small, unreasonable part of his mind thinks that he's been changed permanently by his year on the run.

It's such a small thing, facing difficulty in his studies, but it's the final straw that breaks the dragon's back. He feels useless, dirty, stupid, just like they used to say Muggleborns were. He feels unworthy of Seamus.

But Seamus is there for him. He's always there for him. Seamus makes sure Dean knows – and believes that he's not stupid. That he's not useless or dirty. That he's perfect for Seamus.

Seamus is the only one who can do that. He's the only one who can make Dean feel worthwhile.

And Dean loves him all the more for that.


	7. November

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (755. Coming Back To life), the Pairing Diversity Bootcamp (Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious), and the Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp (49. Free).**

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**NOVEMBER: UNDERSTAND**

It's been a month since they started dating, and all Dean wants is to be able to shout out the news of their new relationship form the rooftop of Hogwarts.

But he's cautious. Both of them identified as straight before they started dating, and Dean can't help but wonder what would happen if people – their friends – didn't understand.

This, combined with the fact that Hogwarts has been reopened, means that they're forced to sleep in different beds. Before, each of the students had an entire dormitory to themselves, since so few had gotten permission from their parents to stay back and help in the restoration of the school. Now, they're back together in their original dorms, and it's too much of a danger that Harry or Ron or Neville would wake up one night to find the two of curled up together.

But Dean's not used to sleeping alone anymore, and he suffers for it. Even during the nights when he doesn't have nightmares, he cannot sleep without Shay's warmth enveloping him. And by the looks of him, Shay isn't doing much better.

It's the dark circles around Seamus' eyes that finally convince him to confess. Shay wouldn't complain, but Dean knew he'd barely been getting any sleep either. And if it had only been affecting him, Dean would have borne it without a word, but he cannot stand to see Shay suffer like this.

As Harry, Ron and Neville congratulate the two boys, looking genuinely happy for them. Dean wonders why he worried in the first place. These are his best friends – he should have known that if they stuck by him through the worst of the war, nothing could shake the foundations of their friendship with him, not even a sudden change in his sexuality.

And this means that he doesn't have to sleep apart from Seamus any longer.

But soon, all his happiness fades. He may have told the boys, but there are still three girls to go. He has no doubt that Hermione has already figured it out, but Parvati and Lavender…He's not looking forward to facing them when they hear that the boys they had decided were going to be their boyfriends are now dating each other.


	8. December

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (156. Future)**

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**DECEMBER: STONE**

In December, the students who stayed back to help rebuild Hogwarts lay down the final stone. It is done. After nearly nine months, they have finished restoring Hogwarts to its original glory.

For some reason, Dean feels like it's the final block to his relationship with Seamus as well. Their relationship has grown along with the school, and he feels that as they've finished building the school, the two of them have finished building their relationship as well.

The past months have brought them closer than he ever imagined possible before. They've gone from best friends to boyfriends, and there's a part of Dean that wonders if there's any place left for them to progress.

The last thing he wants for their relationship is stagnation.

That's when Seamus enters the dormitory shirtless, and Dean feels butterflies in his stomach just from the sight of him. And he knows that just because they've made so much progress in the last few months does not mean that their relationship doesn't have any place to go.

They may have moved from best friends to boyfriends, but it's obvious that they still have a long way to go.


	9. January

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (725. One Step Closer)**

**NOTE: This chapter and the next one are both going to have references to sexual relations. Feel free to skip over the chapters if it's not something you'd like to read. You've been warned :)**

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**JANUARY: HELPLESS**

It's the day after the eighth years' New Year's party that Dean notices that he's developing an unhealthy obsession with Seamus' bare skin.

It's not like he hasn't seen Shay walking around without his shirt before – it comes with living in a dormitory along with four other boys – but ever since the two of started dating, Dean can't take his eyes off of Seamus when he's even partially naked.

The expense of bare skin that's constantly paraded in front oh taunts him, just begging to be touched.

Sometimes, Dean wonders if it's too early to work on the physical aspect of their relationship. They've only been dating for four months, and maybe they need to wait for some more time.

But every time he sees a shirtless Shay walk past him nonchalantly, he's left gaping and helpless. And maybe it's too fast, but Dean wants nothing more than to find out a way to signal to Seamus that _damn it_, he's ready to take the next step in their relationship.


	10. February

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (613. Perfect Lover) and the Slash/Femmeslash Bootcamp (1. Please)**

**NOTE: As with the last chapter, this is rated a high T due to non-explicit sexual content. You're free to skip this chapter if that isn't you thing :)**

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**FEBRUARY: GASPING**

As far as Dean's concerned, the time it's taken to get Shay to agree to this was worth it.

Sure, it took forever for Seamus to believe that he really did want to move their relationship forward, time during which Dean was an extremely frustrated and easily irritable male, but at the end of it, all his insisting has landed him here.

Here, gasping for breath on a bed in the Room of Requirement, with Seamus at his side, pleasure coursing through every nerve in his body. Dean's not sure he's ever felt this good. And it's only the first time.

They say that practice makes perfect, and they're definitely going to practice. And if the first time's so good, Dean can only imagine the pleasure that awaits him.

So yeah, all the time he spent convincing Seamus?

_Totally_ worth it.


	11. March

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (977. Chasing Shadows At Midnight)**

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**MARCH: SHADE**

It's been forever since Dean had a nightmare. Seamus' presence in his life – and his bed – means that he gets a good night's sleep every night, what with Seamus constantly curled up around him. Seamus shades him from the nightmares, and the nights when he used to wake up in cold sweat, screaming his lungs out, are almost forgotten.

The advent of March, however, sparks something in Dean. The nightmares return, worse than they ever were before.

It worries Seamus, Dean can tell, watching him wake up night after night, screaming and sobbing. He knows Seamus is waiting for him to talk about it, but Dean would rather keep it to himself. Seamus has already seen much of his worst – he doesn't want him to think Dean's weak and scared.

Seamus keeps quiet, waiting for Dean to bring it up himself. If seven years of friendship have taught him anything about Dean, it's that he hates being rushed. Dean appreciates that more than he can say.

Dean would rather have taken his secret with him to the grave, but when he wakes up with his wand to Seamus' throat, he knows that he cannot keep silent for any longer. He won't put Shay in danger just because of his stupid pride.

That night, through many tears, Dean tells Seamus about the night he was captured. About how he saw Ted Tonks – the man who had looked after him like Dean was his own son – tortured and killed in front of him, trying to protect Dean, who had stupidly angered the Snatchers who had caught up to them.

He tells Seamus everything.

And Shay quietly wraps Dean in his arms, wipes away his tears, and tells him that it wasn't his fault. That everything would be alright. That he doesn't think Dean's weak.

He falls asleep with Shay whispering words of love and affection in his ear.

After that night, the nightmares don't reappear.


	12. April

**This collection has been written for the "A Year In The Life Of" Challenge.**

**This chapter has also been entered in the If You Dare Challenge (912. The End Is Where We Begin)**

**A/N: The last chapter! I've had loads of fun writing this drabble series, and I hope you've enjoyed reading this. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favourited or followed the story.**

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**APRIL: SPARK**

If someone had told Dean a year ago that he would be dating Seamus, he'd have laughed them into the Closed Ward at Saint Mungo's. He liked women, definitely not men. Besides, even if he was interested in men, he would never risk his friendship with Seamus.

And yet, here he was, a year after the end of the Second Wizarding War, in a committed and serious relationship with his best friend.

Looking back at the chain of events that had resulted in the two of them embarking on a romantic relationship, Dean is surprised by how _easy_ it all was. There was never any awkwardness or uncomfortable moments. It was almost as though that first spark that prompted their relationship - Dean's nightmares and subsequent inability to sleep without Seamus - had kept burning throughout the year, making sure that everything went smoothly.

"Dean?" Seamus' groggy voice pulls him out of his thoughts. "It's two in the morning. What're you doing up awake?"

"Nothing, Shay," Dean replies. Whatever the reason, he's glad the two of them have had it easy. He isn't going to waste more time wondering about it, not when he's got a gorgeous boy in his bed.

With a flick of Dean's wand, the bedside light goes out. He curls back into Seamus' arms, a smile on his face as he closes his eyes. He might not have been able to foresee the events of the last year, but the fact that they happened is enough for him.


End file.
